Experience on mental health in the workplace

Mental health in the workplace never requires you to be an "emotionless worker", nor does it require you to slam the table and resign whenever you feel wronged. Instead, it requires building two systems of "emotional buffer zones" and "self-worth anchors". There is no need to attribute all problems to "your own bad heart", nor to spend all your energy on internal conflicts with bad people in the workplace.

The worst pitfall I encountered last year was that I changed 8 versions of the project plan for three consecutive weeks, and the client finally made the decision to choose the first version. That day when I was catching the evening rush hour subway after get off work, I squatted at the junction of two carriages and cried. The aunt next to me gave me half a pack of toilet paper. I felt so embarrassed at that time, why I couldn't handle such a trivial matter. Later, I talked to the company's EAP consultant twice before I realized that I had fallen into the cognitive trap of "workplace performance = personal value". If the boss said no, I could think about it over and over for three days. I could even bring up the things I didn't do well in my college defense and attack myself.

Discussions about workplace psychology have been very noisy online before, and they are completely divided into two extremes. One school of thought says that all emotional problems are caused by your own lack of strength. You need to practice insensitivity and learn to manage your emotions. To put it bluntly, you blame yourself for being too glassy. ； The other group says that all problems are caused by boss PUA and capital exploitation. You must oppose PUA, take advantage of others, and dare to fight against them, otherwise you will be a soft persimmon. I have tried both methods before, and I believed in the first one for the first six months. I took on tasks that my boss gave me that were not mine, and held it in even when I was scolded. Finally, I was diagnosed with grade 3 breast nodules. The doctor took the report and told me repeatedly, "Little girl, don't take everything to heart."” ； Later, I turned my back to the second group, and directly complained whenever I thought the demand was unreasonable. As a result, I missed out on two core projects that I could have gotten, and I didn't even get a part of the salary increase that year.

Later, I slowly figured out a rhythm that suited me. To put it bluntly, I meant setting up an emotional buffer zone for myself first, and not letting negative emotions overwhelm my reason as soon as they came up. I always keep three things in my work desk drawer: chilled salt soda, orange gummies, and a photo of Chaka Salt Lake taken in Qinghai last year. Last month, my leader scolded me in front of the entire department for not being careful about the plan. I didn't refute immediately. I lowered my head and chewed a gummy, unscrewed the salt soda, took two big sips, and stared at the photo for 30 seconds. The anger that was rising to the top of my head suddenly subsided. Later, when I communicated with the leader, the logic was very clear, and by the way, I got the cross-department coordination authority that I had applied for for a long time. Don't tell me, sometimes taking a few dozen seconds to remove yourself from the current scene is a hundred times more effective than trying to "emotionally stabilize".

It is not enough to have a buffer zone. You must have a value anchor that is not tied to the work. Otherwise, no matter how thick the buffer zone is, it will be worn out one day. The back-end developer at the workstation next to me was usually changed to pound the table by the product manager after changing the requirements, but he was the coach of the Frisbee club on weekends. When I couldn't type the code during the last emo, I looked through my phone and took a photo of the team members who won the city runner-up last week. He turned to me and said, "It's okay. I can arrange it clearly when I lead 20 people to play a game. It's much better than the guy in the product who can't even write the requirements document clearly." His hand on typing code immediately became stable. And my best friend who works in operations, when she fails to meet the KPI and is interviewed by the boss, she goes home and bakes Basque cakes. The cakes she makes are very popular among the owners. Sometimes she earns more from two days of sales on weekends than the performance bonus. She will not doubt herself just because the boss says a few words.

Of course, I’m not saying that these two methods are suitable for everyone. I have a friend who works in To B sales and doesn’t follow this method. His method is to go to the boxing gym to punch a sandbag for an hour every Friday after get off work. Originally, there is no standard answer to regulating emotions. As long as you feel comfortable and don't have internal friction that affects your normal life, any method will work. There is no need to follow other people's "workplace survival guidelines" to yourself.

Harm, after all, the workplace is just a part of your life. You are here to work and make money, not to survive the disaster and become a fairy. It is normal to occasionally emo, occasionally collapse, and occasionally scold the boss 800 times in your heart. You don’t have to force yourself to be positive all the time. Yesterday, I worked overtime until 10:30 due to a temporary change in customer demand. When I went downstairs, I bought a grilled cold noodle with double spiciness. I ate and complained while walking. When the wind blew, everything was over. After all, after this meal, I still have to save money to buy tickets for Jay Chou's concert next month, right?