Standard answers to mental health in the workplace

On the premise of not breaking through your own physiological tolerance and moral bottom line, always prioritize your self-feelings before other people's evaluations, workplace rules, and promotion expectations.

Last week I had coffee with Chen, the former Alibaba P7 employee. She had just quit her job two months ago. She had stayed up until 2 o'clock for three months in a row in order to boost her sales performance. She went to see a clinical psychologist and was diagnosed with moderate anxiety. The doctor asked her at that time: "Do you think completing your KPIs is more important than sleeping only 4 hours a day for a week?" She stood at the door of the clinic and was stunned for ten minutes, unable to answer. That day, she still had the newly printed PPT for her promotion defense in her bag, and she threw it into the trash can when she left the house.

Interestingly, academic research on mental health in the workplace over the years has always had two completely contradictory directions. The positive psychology camp advocates "building a sense of meaning at work and binding career paths to the realization of self-worth." The data is also available: people who can gain a sense of meaning from their work are 62% more happy in the workplace than those who work purely to make money. The chicken soup online that "finding a job you love will not cause pain" is essentially a simplified version of this logic. On the other hand, a 2023 tracking survey by the Department of Organizational Behavior at the Wharton School also came to the exact opposite conclusion: the essence of work is value exchange, and workplace people who can clearly separate their professional identity and self-identity have a 47% lower probability of job burnout than those who bind their identities. To put it bluntly, it is "just going to work, don't involve yourself as a whole."

Which one of these two statements is right? I really can’t tell. My former colleague Xiao Yang works on a rural education project at a charity organization. She was paid late three times in a row and was happy to work overtime until nine every day. Last time she told me that she learned to weave grasshoppers from the children, which was more enjoyable than receiving a year-end bonus. She is someone who relies entirely on her sense of meaning. There is also a friend who is an e-commerce operator who is even more outrageous. He shuts down his work account immediately after work. He dares not even answer his boss’s phone calls on weekends. He takes full annual leave every year and does not even post work-related friends when he goes abroad. He did not delay his promotion to a supervisor last year. His logic is "I do my job to the fullest when I am at work. After get off work, I am not so-and-so in the operation position, I am myself."

I have seen too many counterexamples when I was working as an HRBP in an Internet company in the past few years. The most regrettable thing was a little girl who graduated from 985 and worked in a product position. Because she did not get an S in the quarterly rating, she cried in the conference room until she could not breathe. Later, after we talked, we found out that she had always been ranked first since she was a child. She directly regarded the workplace assessment and evaluation system as a self-worth scoreboard. She suffered from insomnia for half a month if she made a small mistake. In the end, she took the initiative to resign, saying that she would go crazy if she stayed any longer. I have also seen the kind of young man who took on a job he couldn't handle in order to please the leader and stayed in the hospital for a week in a row. The first thing he asked after waking up was "Has the leader seen my plan?" The nurse next to him was stunned.

Someone must ask, what should I do if I have to wait for the rice to be cooked at home and have to endure it? This situation is all too common. I used to provide career counseling for a man in the manufacturing industry. After he was laid off, the boss of the new job he found was PUA every day and deducted his performance for nothing. He endured it for half a year and used all the money left after paying off the mortgage every month for psychological counseling. He told me very truthfully: "I know I can't leave now. If I leave, I won't be able to pay back the mortgage, so I I have set a deadline for myself. I have to go play ball two nights a week, and have dinner with my kids no matter how busy I am. As long as I can do these two things, I will put up with the rest for the time being. I will leave as soon as I have saved enough living expenses for half a year. "You see, this is not a very clever solution, but it is the most effective "standard answer" for him.

In fact, mental health in the workplace is a bit like wearing glasses. If someone else wears a comfortable prescription, you may feel dizzy and vomit. Some people are suitable for blue light protection, and some are suitable for discoloration. There is no one that is suitable for everyone. The only thing you have to do is wear it to see things clearly and not have a headache. Don't listen to those people who say "Young people just can't bear hardships." If it hurts, don't bear it. Don't take the evaluation of the workplace too seriously. Your boss may have scolded you just because he was scolded by his boss that day, and it has nothing to do with whether you are good or bad. If you really can't bear it, take a break. The sky will not fall. No one in the company may remember the project you stayed up late last month to work on.

Yesterday I was buying popsicles at the convenience store downstairs and happened to meet Lao Chen. She is now working as the content manager in a friend's small company and gets off work at six o'clock every day. She just climbed Wugong Mountain last week and touched me with an ice coke: "I finally figured it out. There is no standard answer. I am happy is the only answer."

The wind blew from the door of the convenience store, and her hair was still stained with sweat. She was smiling happier than I had ever seen her in the past three years.