What are the aspects of children’s mental health?

I have been doing intervention work at a community child psychological service station for almost seven years. When parents ask this question, I never throw out a bunch of classification items first - the essence of children's mental health is the adaptability of children to themselves, others, and their environment. When broken down, it is actually a nested whole of emotional regulation ability, cognitive development level, behavioral coping mode, and social adaptation status. It cannot be separated into independent modules for judgment.

Last month, I met a little girl in second grade. When her parents brought her to her, they said that she had been biting her nails until her fingertips bleed. Her homework lasted until midnight and she couldn't finish it until she cried. They suspected it was a "concentration defect." After talking for a long time, they found out the root cause: She failed in the math unit test a while ago. Her parents didn't say anything, but grandma came to the house for dinner. She casually mentioned, "You won't be able to go to college if you're so stupid, and your parents won't like you anymore." She secretly remembered it in her mind. She would always get distracted in class and wonder, "What if I fail in the exam again?" She was afraid of being scolded for making mistakes when doing homework, so she scratched and scratched, and gradually developed the compulsive behavior of biting her nails and repeatedly procrastinating on homework. You see, what first appears are irrational beliefs at the cognitive level, which affect emotional stability without being resolved in time, and finally fall into behavioral deviations. It is not a problem caused by one area alone.

Oh, by the way, there are actually different voices in the industry regarding the criteria for judging children's mental health: Many supporters of traditional education concepts, and even some consultants who are new to the industry, will regard "being well-behaved in line with social expectations" as a yardstick for mental health. They think that children who are not noisy, listen to adults, and can complete tasks as required are in good condition.； But those of us who have been working on the frontline for a long time are more wary of "overly sensible" children. For example, a five- or six-year-old child is holding back his tears despite being hurt by a fall. When he gets something delicious, his first reaction is to ask a circle of adults, "Can I eat it?" and he is afraid to say anything after being bullied by children for fear of "causing trouble to his parents." This seemingly "worry-free" performance may actually be a sign that the child lacks a sense of security and is afraid to express his true needs. There is no absolute right or wrong in these two judgments. The core still has to go back to the child's own feelings - if he does not feel uncomfortable in his state and does not hurt others, even if he is a little lively, out-of-the-box or playful, it is not a problem at all.

To be honest, ordinary parents don't need to go out of their way to find a bunch of professional scales to rate their children. You can just look at the small details of daily life: when you get home from school, you will be willing to read to you about the limited-edition Ultraman cards that your classmates brought today, which classmate the teacher praised, you can get together to play a new game when you get into trouble with a child, you can be coaxed by a lollipop when you fall down and cry, and there is basically no problem. Children's psychology is like a small fruit tree that has just sprouted. You can't just look at the unevenness and size of the fruits above. You have to look at whether the roots underneath can absorb nutrients well (whether emotions can flow and express normally), and whether the trunk can withstand small winds and waves ( Can you adjust yourself when you encounter small setbacks?), can you grow well next to the seedlings next to you (can you interact smoothly with peers and the environment)? If you are weak, just give it a little help, and don't label your child as having a "psychological problem" at every turn.